I couldn’t take it another day…

Something had to give…

There I was 22 years old and my life was in shambles. For my whole life I had been taught that once you screwed everything up, you were finished… Done… It was over.

I didn’t want to believe that was really true, but everyone said it was and “doing my own thing” was what got me into this mess to start with.

I was so depressed with the realization that I was finished, done, a failure before I had even really gotten started that I wanted to slink off somewhere and just die.

I just knew there had to be someway to fix things, or at least a way to start over. Then it happened. I got the incentive I needed from the most unlikely source, my lawyer Max. (I told you I’d really screwed up.)

He set me down in his office one day and told me all the bad things I already knew about myself and agreed with. Then he said the most amazing thing. He said, “You are who and what you are BY CHOICE. You have chosen to be that way.”

I was speechless (not a common thing for me). It was like a ton of bricks fell on me. “By choice? Why would anyone choose to be this way? He must be crazy.”

When I finally got my voice back, I told him he was crazy. He smiled… sweetly. You know, the kind of smile you just want to knock off someone’s face. Then he asked, “Exactly who forced you to do the things you’ve done?”

I couldn’t answer except to say, “Well nobody, but…..”

“No buts. If nobody forced you, then you chose to do it, period. Or are you saying that you are a puppet with no will of your own?” I couldn’t argue because doing “my own thing” is what got me to this place so I just sat there with my mouth hanging open.

“So, if you chose to do the things you’ve done, you can chose to act differently and become the kind of person you can be proud of. All you have to do is want to change.”

“Me? Change? That was possible? Everything I been taught was wrong?” I was stunned.

That day was a turning point in my life…an epiphany. I respected and trusted Max. Max said I could change my life. I wanted desperately to believe him, so I did believe him. But, I had no idea where to begin.

One thing everyone has always agreed on is that I am one of the most stubborn human beings on this planet. If creating a life filled with contentment and happiness was possible, I was determined to figure out how to do it.

I took me years of trial and error. It seems that for every couple steps forward, I took at least one step backward. But ultimately I reached my goal.

Now, I want to help you do the same thing by sharing what I’ve learned and maybe helping you to avoid some of the mistakes I made while I was figuring it all out.

Today, I feel sad about all the people I hurt back then in what almost seems like a different lifetime, but other than that I have very few regrets.

If someone like me can change my life, anyone can do it. All you have to do it want to. In fact you don’t even need to want to. You just need to “want to want to”. That’s all I had when I started. I desperately wanted to want to change my life.

The Living Without Lies Program is based on what I discovered I had to do to create the kind of life I wanted. The program covers step-by step what it took for a for 22 year old high school dropout with a drug problem, charged with first degree murder who wanted to slink off somewhere and just die to become a respected citizen with a loving family who’s had a successful career as a computer engineer and teacher for the past 18 years.

The Living Without Lies Program is designed to help strip away all of the lies we tell ourselves until you discover the “real you” so you can create a life of contentment and happiness.